I don't make New Year's Resolutions. I sometimes do goals or a vision for the year ahead. I am not against it I just don't take lightly the things I set out to do. So making a lofty goal and then failing isn't an option! However this year, something has been happening inside me over the past 5 months. So leading into 2012 I guess I was being prepared for what I would set as a "project" or God forbid I use the R word.... RE....solution.
Many that follow me on facebook see that I have turned into a runner. (All those who don't please pull yourself off the floor and back on your chair regain breathe and continue reading) I said a sentence this summer that I believe God totally "caught" me with. The word Marathon came up amongst my friends and I spewed out " Ahhhh, marathons now THAT scares me!". Almost right away I knew God was gonna try to tell me something about that statement! Of course week after week I ran and God impressed one thing onto my mind and heart. " You need to run a marathon-BECAUSE it scares you". Of course my "get out of jail free card" was to tell Peter in hopes of hearing "now that's crazy talk". But he agreed and said ya you need to go for it and that ...You totally can do it. Plan B failed. Time to suck it up and face my fear.
2 friends and myself March 17th are gonna do it, a half marathon in Moab. The date is creeping far to fast closer and I am nervous. And scared who is kidding. July 6th I started running....and now a REAL race. I can't even believe it 7 months ago to the day, I started exercising for the first time in (gulp) 3yrs! Yesterday I hit a milestone-I RAN TEN MILES!!!!
Funny how small promptings can lead into something bigger and even more scary. This is only the baby step beginning of what the 2012 Fear Project holds for me (and those around me). I had to give a bit of the back story so people could get where I was coming from.
I am swallowing the remaining pride this year, crushing all hurdles that have stopped me from pursuing dreams and challenging my insecurities and fears to a stare down-nose to nose.
I woke up and realized that as long as the fears stay at arms length away....nothing EVER will change. To offer a complete shock to the system I am pulling it all BRUTALLY close to my face and staring it down with a resolve to not walk away. At least not to walk away the same.
My next blog entry will be one to read for sure.....check back soon.
