My Help (courtesy of The Help)

To all the " daily circus" fan(s)-

I do know there is one person reading at least. Thank goodness I am not trying (obviously) to make blogging a business! Right? Blogging is the cheapest form of therapy next to my Frogurt meet ups with my girlfriends. Which also prove very effective! So time to get back into it again.

Well it has been 6 months (shameful blush) since I wrote last. Not because I have not wanted to at times. But let's rewind to explain.

May was a crazy month for us alot of changes at church and that meant extra hours of preparing and work. Our hearts were gearing up for taking our first foster child, we had even found a child we felt very connected to and got our hopes up. We prayed for her like crazy yet were not chosen to be her forever family and we trust that she is placed with the best forever family. So hard to be totally fine with that NOT being us.

Soon after June rolled around we got a phone call to take our first placement. That was a flurry of a day. 1pm got a call and we picked her up at 7pm. So things happened fast. "A" stayed with us for only a week. She moved to another foster home that was close to us and she also enjoyed our church K2. So we have been taking her as much every time we can and kept in touch with her over the past months. "A" is a sweet girl and once she can get motivated for her preparing for her dream- I think she would make a great social worker. I haven't seen her in weeks and my heart is sad about that.

June-August was a bit of recovery for the soul. I found myself searching parts of my self I really hadn't been able to see before "A" came into our lives. Peter and I felt like we needed to take a "hold" on actively searching out the child that would join our family for awhile. I think we have gained great knowledge and experience this summer. I think we are getting more focused on the age range we will be pursuing in our foster adopt journey. But I do feel the speed of the journey has slowed down rapidly. Which now, I am ok with. ( However has taken me a few months to be ok with that)


September brought new change. The girls transferred to public school. That always brings new challenges along with some financial relief! For the most part it is going well. I am thankful they finally got a seat on the bus and my running is a little less crazy everyday! Back in the routine of school is nice, and fall weather here is amazing. I embarked on something with thanks of my friend Trudi. She got a bunch of us women at church to make a team for the Dirty Dash. Which is a 10k Mud Obstacle course! I went from 3.5 years with no exercise to running 3 times a week! And the biggest part is I HATED RUNNING. And well now, I think I kinda crave it. As some would say this life lesson is gonna preach someday! We did the mud run and it was one of the most fun things I have done in a while! Training continues and I will have to post a new post about that soon. (Bonus part is I have lost 13 pounds!) Oh ya and we got another dog. (insert moment of silence for my sanity)

October was a blur, can't remember much of that actually. But I do know November has been great! Had a great birthday with a realization I am almost "Mid Thirties" (ew??!!) I don't know if I like that term and I in the same sentence. But really I am just getting more anxious about bigger and better things. Like changing the world, bring cultural change and solving global problems. (All pretty easy things to solve!)

November brings people and countdowns more people arriving! I have my sil Malin coming for a visit. Then my lil sister E. Then some friends from Cali. THEN (big fingers crossed and praying and hoping) more family! So we will have a flood of people in our home soon and I wouldn't have it any other way! I wish everyone would come and visit!

Should I bring up December since I have a hunch I will get to busy to blog?

OK! December comes with a giant red marker to cross off a bucket list item! We got tickets to see Andrea Bocelli at MGM Grand in Vegas. We got good seats too! I am working hard to fit into a REAL ( like fancy) dress too. Imagine that a chance to get dolled up! So I am brushing up on the Italian and getting the list ready for my sister the babysitter! Vegas here we come!


If you have read this far you might be wondering about the title of this post. You might have guessed I just saw the movie The Help. The main character said something in the last scene that moved me. Something to this effect "When I write the truth of how I feel, I never felt such freedom". I felt that like hit home for me. So out I walked from that movie thinking, it's time to dump all the feelings out and be free once again.

So here I am back again. Still the same me just totally changed.

What May(be)

May is going to be huge for us as a family.
So much is going to be happening in the next 30 days.
Pray for us as we are seeing steps in our foster/adoption journey. I really hope in a couple weeks to give a more detailed update on where we are at in the process. God works opposite of how we do-at least it feels that way. It is funny, that the series we are going through at church is called just that "Opposite Way".
We have started the ball rolling with expanding our family, we have someone in mind. We have no control, so that is the best place to be in (I guess) when needing God to show off His amazing power. Now we are in a holding pattern until the week of May 22nd. Nothing like perfecting the patience "thing"!

Not like there is much going on that week in our lives, our church-my workplace-is going thru the biggest transition in the history of it's existence!


Words to describe how I am feeling this month of May-

Excited.

Giddy.

A little bit freaked.

Anxious.

Nervous.

In Awe.

Full of faith.

Edge of my seat.

Like a lioness-ready to roar.

Lioness Arising Road Trip

My good friend Kari and I headed up to Boise for a Women's Conf.
(Picture taken in Twin Falls, ID on the way home)
It was amazing, Lisa Bevere was speaking from her new book
Lioness Arising
I am exploding to blog about the effects from that weekend and
her book.
(give me more time to formulate it and then-
watch out world!)

The best quote I can give you is this



Be at rest with your strength and at ease with your power.
-Lisa Bevere

Easter failureshoot....8th annual

Another yet of stressed, imperfect lightning and unwilling children
for the "Easter pictures"
I have to have to prove to them in 15 years that they
DID match once
ACTUALLY had their hair brushed
However
What is still left to be seen is ONE
Just one year getting a GOOD picture of all

four.

Nonetheless........

They are adorable.

How we roll........

If the question starts "what kind of mom lets...?"
The answer is usually .........ME.

Family time

Dad and Frank at Cracker Barrel

Love the view behind this park

Gettin some grand lovin

My cool sister E was here too! Love the shades!

I herby coin the term "Pulling a Purvis"

I have been on a wild ride since Oct 31st!
Gearing up for being a lisenced fostercare family
has been one of the most knowledge rich exp. I have had in a
very long while.
Today I am a bit weirded out that I read this
blog.
I could have been MY words, MY thoughts...MY life.
I am sure we flatter ourselves to think we are alone in our feelings.
When thousands and probably millions feel the same way.
I have become an avid reader of
this ministry.
It is like a a breath of new life to my parenting soul.
I hope one of you will watch a video or read an article from Dr. Karyn Purvis's site.
I will be use the cheesey term and say-it changed my life
(probably my family's life from here on out!)
I herby coin the phrase "I pulled a Purvis."
And no, I will not explain it!
If you are curious, you will have to watch a video or two.
I authorize the use of this term, as long as you use it correctly!

Here's to 11 wonderful years-crazy beautiful

Time flies when you are having fun (and just plain really busy!)

It has been 11 YEARS

CRAZY.

BEAUTIFUL.

Be still my heart....a cutie and cadbury eggs

And no, I don't remember why he is wearing his sister necklace. He has been pretty happy about "man" jewelry he has seen on TV. Yikes. Love him to pieces, he may not like sweets all that much Cadbury eggs are a hit!

The evolution of the Valentine's box

I am sure if you grew up in the States you had one. A shoebox decorated in obnoxious stickers and heart doilies. Well, FYI America the Valentine's boxes have evolved! I am not complaining-thanks to seeing a pic from Kristy's blog we decided to go for a ipod inspired version. Way cool, easy and won big brownie points for mom thinking up the idea.



Happy Valentine's weekend!

TMI about my buns

In Sweden it is the time of year to make Semlor. We hold tradition no matter where we live. Since alot of you might not be familiar with the best thing EVER to hit the baker's shelf. Below is history of the Semla.

History

The Semla was originally eaten only on Shrove Tuesday, as the last festive food before Lent. However, with the arrival of the Protestant Reformation, the Swedes stopped observing a strict fasting for Lent. The semla in its bowl of warm milk became a traditional dessert every Tuesday between Shrove Tuesday and Easter. (not all Swedes each then that way, me included!)Today, semlas are available in shops and bakeries every day from shortly after Christmas until Easter.

Wikepedia says -Each Swede consumes on average five bakery-produced semlas each year, in addition to all those that are homemade.Confirming my suspiction that I am above average.

Now you have been given TMI on my buns.

Well- I have no more secrets so per Heidi's request my recipe. (I am a eye baller so sorry if it isnt exact, and it took me about 3 years to get this recipe great!)
YOU WILL NEED-
Yeast, Milk, butter, sugar,flour, almond paste, egg, powdered sugar (decoration), and whipped cream ...the real stuff.

In a sauce pan warm about 3 1/2 cups milk and then add a stick of butter, stir it till the butter is melted. Let it cool till just it is no longer hot, you are going to mix about 50 grams yeast(I usually do 3-4 tablespoons.) stir it up till yeast is dissovled. In a mixer add 1/2 cup-3/4 cup sugar, then start to add the flour adding slowly it should be about 7-8 cups.( Yikes, I eyeball this till the dough is smooth and has pulled away from the bowl) cover and let rise till doubled. Then form small ball of dough (you should get approx 25 total), place on parchment paper on the baking sheet or stone you will use to bake. cover them let them rise again till doubled in size. Beat one egg and use this to brush the tops right before baking. Bake them at 375 for 8-12 min. Or untill golden on the tops. (Temps are tricky, if they are burning on the bottom to fast then raise the rack higher that works for me) . Cool on a rack. Serving directions, slice the rounded top off the roll, you will take some of the bottom (this is where the filling will go)of the roll. About a quarter sized circle and maybe about a 1/2inch deep. SAVE the bread you take out and place in a bowl. ALMOND PASTE FILLING- Get it in a tube in the baking aisle, grate it finely into the bowl with bread pieces add a tablespoon milk, and mash it up good. This will be place in the "hole" you made in the bottoms of the rolls. Fill each with the filled. Add a good dalup of whipping cream next then re place the top on the rolls and sprinkle powdered sugar on top.

The rolls freeze great and are perfect to take out and thaw and make this whenever.


If anyone dares to do it I would love to hear how it goes. If anyone dares to ask me to show them I will accept that challenge too =)

Franko turns 2!

I know, I know....you can't believe it either! Lil' Frank turned 2 last week! He magically is very interested in the toliet, mainly flushing and pretending or trying to clean it. (With a toothbrush, GAG!) He wants his snacks in ziplock bags, and he trys to rinse his hair in the sink! (He hangs out alot with a hairstylist so go figure right!)

Favorite words, are alright, i love you and he loves saying "tattoooooo" after he draws on himself.

Happy Birthday Frank! You are the best surprise that has ever happened to our family and we wouldn't have it any other way!

Happy Birthday Franko!

A Ketchup packet

Well, it is (as if it wasn't already known before) that I am a "crier". It is now. This month has been insightful, inspiring, jaw dropping, emotional and heart breaking. For all the right reasons. Foster Care classes have been well worth my time. However, I was totally caught off guard today. They pumped us up that last week would be hard, heartbreaking and tough. Many heavy topics for sure. But today, I sat and had a "moment". Our teacher had us doing a game where we swapped seats randomly throughout the morning and slowly we left bits and pieces of what we came to class with behind. Then spouses were randomly split up. Then we discussed the feelings of children in foster care. Transition, and grieving the loss of parents and homes and "their world". It was an "ah hah" moment. Then on the heels of that we watched the most low budget movie (which was power point slides of text and children reading it) and my heart cracked open and out slipped the contents. Sitting by a stranger, listening to the feelings of children in foster care. Tears pouring down my face, my nose uncontrollably running! They told of what is going through their mind, how they feel and what they don't understand. More importantly how much they do understand. The naked pain in the honesty was like a hammer breaking my heart with each sentence.

Feels impossible to explain. I know I can never fully understand- but getting cups full of their realities poured into my heart has been like dropping bricks on a ketchup packet. Imagining that to be my reality as a child. Completely heart wrenching. Yet I have no idea how after hearing it one isn't compelled to action. Today our instructor said something that hit home for me. "So many of the behaviors children in care express are a broken heart - grieving a loss. "



This month has been a blur. Our kids are being troopers! Our friends have rallied around us like a family would! God has met us right here. And each time my mind races ahead to try to figure out what will happen next, how it will happen and how I will handle it-I am reminded of a verse.

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Isaiah 41:9-11